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Sunday, February 26 2017 @ 12:10 PM MST

Dominance

Commentary
There seems to be a feeling by some, that "love" lessens dominance.
That tenderness equates somehow with a lessened sense of "Mastery".
Rubbish. Dominance and submission are emotional states, constantly in
flux within a relationship. They may be aided by physical play such
as SM, but I need never lift a hand to be dominant.

DOMINANCE
by Lord HamiltonZ

There seems to be a feeling by some, that "love" lessens dominance.
That tenderness equates somehow with a lessened sense of "Mastery".
Rubbish. Dominance and submission are emotional states, constantly in
flux within a relationship. They may be aided by physical play such
as SM, but I need never lift a hand to be dominant. I am
dominant and always will be, whether I take flogger to you or not.
And you need never take a spanking or be tied to be submissive.
Taking a caning or being used by me for my pleasure is not what makes
you a submissive.

My dominance comes from my heart, just as my love does. Do not
confuse tenderness with weakness and strictness with dominance. I
can be as soft and tender as a teddy bear and dominate you. It is who
I am. You follow me because it is your heart's path to do so. It is,
perhaps, your thought that a dominant somehow needs to maintain their
position, that they must "make" their submissives submit. Nothing
could be farther from the truth. I don't have to do anything to
make you submit. If I have to make you do it, whether by use of
coercion, pain, strength, blackmail, you are not submitting, you are
not consenting. I am forcing.

There is a huge difference between a scene such as a mock rape or
kidnapping, and living in a power exchange. Within the context of a
scene I may threaten, cajole, and use force, whatever, but in my
relationship, I will not make you do anything. I will not punish
with anything more than disappointment and something to make you
regard your error, perhaps a writing assignment or an unpleasant
household chore. You submit to my will and my direction. I do not
force you to follow.

Consent, you consent to our relationship. You submit to my will. If
you do not, then perhaps it is best for you to seek someone who will
play the game you seek. I don't play emotional games in my
relationship. I expect submission. Submission does not mean blind
obedience. Submission does not mean becoming a doormat. Submission
means that you turn your will over to me. My decisions are your law.
That doesn't mean you can't argue, because I have charged you with
looking after my best interests. You are charged with taking care of
me, meeting my needs. If I do something that you feel is against my
best interest, it is your duty to me to point that out. And my duty
to you is to listen. And then decide what to do. And once I make that
decision it is your duty to try to make it come out right.

I have a responsibility to you as well. You have turned your will
over to me. I am responsible to meet your needs, to care for you, to
nourish, to nurture and to help you grow stronger, wiser. So you in turn
can care for me better, so I can care for you better. We are not here
to play emotional games with each other. If you have needs,
communicate them clearly, honestly and directly. I am not a mind
reader. Do not expect me to meet them if you do not communicate them.
I will, by default do as I need to do. And if that is to be gentle,
kind, loving, you have agreed to that by submitting to Me.

There seems to be some confusion also, between discipline, and
punishment. Discipline is action taken to correct an unwanted
behavior, to correct a problem. If I can correct that problem with a
word, or a look, I have disciplined you. Do not equate punishment
with discipline. I may punish you within the context of a scene, the
strict Schoolmaster spanking the naughty student, the Prison Guard
beating an unruly prisoner, the Sadist tormenting a victim... But I
will discipline you within our relationship as befits the offense.

Do not act out trying to goad me into sternness, into strictness,
into punishing you. If you are doing so, you are topping from the
bottom. You are being deceitful in that you are not communicating
your needs to me honestly, directly or clearly. You are not going to
get sternness, you will get anger. You won't get strictness or
punishment; you will get disappointment and displeasure. You will not
get discipline, you will get dismissed.

Think on these words and use of them what you will. The path of my
heart is not the path of all others. As always, your mileage may vary.


Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply, Speak kindly. Leave the rest to a Higher Power.

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